Sunday 1 August 2010

Sex • Office • Work • Women • Men

10% of the women had sex within the first hour of their first date.
20% of the men had sex in a non-traditional place.
36% of the women favor nudity.
45% of the women prefer dark men with blue eyes.
46% of the women experienced anal sex.
70% of the women prefer sex in the morning.
80% of the men have never experienced homosexual relations.
90% of the women would like to have sex in the forest.
99% of the women have never experienced sex in the office.

Conclusion:
Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day.

Moral:
Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it!

How to Make Love

Ingredients:
4 Laughing eyes
4 Well-shaped legs
4 Loving arms
2 Firm milk containers
2 Nuts
1 Fur-lined mixing bowl
1 Firm banana

Directions:
1. Look into laughing eyes.
2. Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms.
3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently.
4 Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed. For best results. Continue to knead milk containers.
5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably NOT overnight).
6. The cake is done when banana is soft. If banana does not soften, repeat 4 steps 3-5 or change mixing bowls.

Notes:
1. If you are in an unfamiliar kitchen, wash utensils carefully before and after use.
2. Do not lick mixing bowl after use.
3. If cake rises, leave town.